A Bird In The Studio

It's not every day you're confronted with your white privilege by learning the local waterfowl are only leaving you be because of the colour of your skin.

Where some may see this as a problem, I say we treat it as an opportunity.  There seems no sign of the BBC abandoning its plan to piss all over its claims of balance by taking every possible opportunity to slap Nigel Farage's cylindrical smirk-factory all over our screens, but perhaps they could be persuaded to swap out the cigar-chomping fraud for a racist swan. It'd be more photogenic and more coherent, and forcing Nick Clegg to risk having both arms broken is pretty much the only way to make another traitor vs bigot debate even close to bearable.