Merriest Possible Christmas Under Present Circumstances

Well done everyone. If you''re reading this, you've made it through again.

Here's two of my favourite Christmas-related songs. They're both decidedly bittersweet, but I mean, read the room.

Infinite Diversity, Finite Combinations 3.1.16

It's TNGs least plausible plot so far, with Wesley being kidnapped and the Enterprise crew actually trying to get him back.

Geek Syndicate Review: Cromwell Stone

Cromwell Stone is probably a lot easier to admire than enjoy, but there's certainly a LOT to admire.

Infinite Diversity, Finite Combinations 2.1.16

The heist episode.

Friday Dreadfleet: I Saw Four Ships

For whatever reason (guilt, probably) I've been focusing a lot of time on painting up stuff from 2011 ludicrous pirate/explosion game Dreadfleet. I've put together some auxiliaries from the Grand Alliance (seen here passing a live volcano I've also painted)...

...and that there actual literal Dreadfleet, basking in the glow of Ridiculous Skull Island, another recently completed piece.

BUT WAIT! Perhaps you want more skulls. I SHALL DELIVER. Here is a giant skull carving topped by a two-headed snake getting it on with itself. The lighting means you can't really see how the skull's eye sockets glow in a sinister manner, but trust me that they do, and it's awesome.

All that, and a castle too, along with a better view of the auxiliary from The Curse Of Zandri.

And finally, here's a picture of everything I've painted from the game so far. It's starting to get tough to fit everything in the same photo.

Voyager Season 1 Retrospective

Well, that failed to escalate quickly.

Infinite Diversity, Finite Combinations 6.1.15

Viewers are cautioned that drinking while in an asteroid belt can violate your shuttlepod insurance.

No Apologies For The Infinite Radness 1.2.8 - "Rest Stop" (Matchbox Twenty)

This has been on my list of pieces to write for an awfully long time now. It was always going to be hard to follow up "Floating In The Forth".

As it happens, though, I listened to both that song and this one last weekend, which seems about a clear a sign from a random, disinterested universe that it might be time to shuffle onward.

So be it. It's kind of a wrench, though, going from a song about the endless dull pull of suicidal ideation to one about getting kicked out of car. That's not really Thomas' fault, though. In fact, while there are other songs from Mad Season that have stronger hooks, "Rest Stop" is almost certainly the one with the most interesting things to say. Flimflammery summed this up as it being the only track on the album that isn't dripping with passive-aggressive "nice guy" grease. It's not hard to see his point - there's barely a song on the album that isn't about how a woman is/has fucking/fucked things up with him, and HOW DARE SHE?

"Rest Stop" isn't just better than what surrounds it, though. It's good on its own terms. A song about a relationship ending because your partner has realised they no longer care about your interiority? Who makes that decision while you sleep beside them, literally trusting them with your life? Who dumps you in such a way that it's you who has to open the door and walk away, wiping drool from your chin and wondering how you crashed from a dream into this? The motor is still running, the chassis is still whole, but this is still a perfect picture of a car crash.

Except that things keep moving. The song quite pointedly has the narrator kicked out three miles from the nearest place to rest. He goes from cruising effortlessly down the freeway to hiking cross-country, but he still has to maintain a pace. The song underlines this with its own momentum. Whether it's the guitar slashes, the stings of strings, or what sounds like the rhythmic fucking of robotic goats, the song has an undeniable propulsion, lurching forwards as our hero's lover recedes.

The hardest thing about a heartbreak is that there's still so much else that needs to be done. You have to spend so much time awake.

B-side (and while I like this version, note how much is lost by ditching the measured propulsion of the original track):

Infinite Diversity, Finite Combinations 5.1.15

Voyager's first season ends as it began, with me really not giving much of a shit.

Why Are Cats?

How I love my cat
She meows at me and purrs
How I love my cat
She scratches me and poos
In strict rotation
That's all she does
That's all she's good for
You'd think ONCE she could do the fucking dishes.

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Yawn.

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"Age and wisdom have their graces too."

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A ramble neither fancy nor fine.

A Dream Of Tomorrow

That's that done, then.

Friday Talisman: A Sword Out Of Blackhaven

It's a double reveal this week, as I'm not just showing off my latest miniature, but also my new lightbox.

I'm pretty happy with both, to be honest, especially since I only splashed out on a new box because the last one broke without warning or reason. The new one is a lot larger and more sturdy, so hopefully that will help, though the light strip is so heavy it's already fallen off, and the whole thing is sufficiently large that it's bound to become Splodge's new favourite place to hide. She hasn't even been in it yet, and I had to sweep it clean of her hairs before I could take these pictures.

Anyway. This is the warrior from the base game. His colour scheme according to the character card is very different, but I wanted to base this guy on Beric Dondarrion from A Song Of Ice And Fire, hence the black and purple, plus the red hair. I should probably have tried making his sword look like it was on fire, too, but it didn't occur to me.

Infinite Diversity, Finite Combinations 1.1.15

Cycle 15 kicks off with a look at the time William Shatner wanted to punch a tiger in the face.

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Damn, I hate ending up having to defend the Vulcans.

A Dream Of Destruction

My penultimate Game of Thrones write-up is now online.

Alphabetical Banging Chunes

Because if there's one thing I love more than music, it's lists.

Feel free to leave your own in comments.

After Sunset (Styrofoam)

Barfruit Blues (The Hold Steady)

Can You Get To That (Funkadelic)

Desolation Highway (Bikini Atoll)

Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight (Whiskeytown)

Falling (Angelo Badalamenti ft. Julee Cruise)

Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying (Belle & Sebastian)

Head Rolls Off (Frightened Rabbit)

Impression That I Get, The (Mighty Mighty Bosstones)

Jaked On Green Beers (Alkaline Trio)

Kathleen (Josh Ritter)

Luna (Smashing Pumpkins)

Mess Inside, The (Mountain Goats)

Nowhere Man (The Beatles)

Oceanwalk (Astronautalis)

Paper Planes (MIA)

Questions & Answers (Biffy Clyro)

Roots Radicals (Rancid)

So Here We Are (Bloc Party)

This Tornado Loves You (Neko Case)

Untogether (Belly)

Vienna (Matt Skiba And The Sekrets)

Walkaways (Counting Crows)

X And The O, The (Johnny Foreigner)

You Want It Darker (Leonard Cohen)

Zephyr Song,The (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

A Dream Of Destiny

I'm falling increasingly behind, but my review of the fourth episode of Game of Thrones' last season is now up.

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No.

Friday Warhammer: Adjusted Scale

Thanks to the latest kind delivery from the in-laws, things have gotten worse on the unpainted miniature front. Here's the new stuff...

...and the overall nightmare.

Still, at least I've made progress on a few fronts. I've painted up some spore mines, and my last ravener. I've also finished my Talisman Warrior, but he probably deserves his own post next week.

Infinite Diversity, Finite Combinations 4.1.14

Kira the Bolshevik.

No Apologies For The Infinite Radness 3.14.15 - "Floating In The Forth" (Frightened Rabbit)

Now that some time has passed...

It's been a year since Scott Hutchinson took his own life. It's taken that long to have any chance of being able to write this.

Frightened Rabbit wrote more than a few songs which will feature in this, my quixotic attempt to write a non-chronological autobiography in the only language that makes sense - the music that mattered. In fact, it's easy for me to think of the band as forming the arch my third act is built upon, with the keystone formed from an equal mix of "Heads Roll Off" and "Floating In The Forth", both from the band's second album, The Midnight Organ Fight.

The two songs each wire themselves directly into the lives of the chronically depressed. The former demands we remember that every second we hang on for makes a difference, and to hell with trying to calculate how large that difference is in the greater scheme of things. Fuck the greater scheme of things, anyway. That's religion's problem, not ours.

"Floating In The Forth", meanwhile, is about finding any excuse possible for buying more time to make those changes. It's not about a final victory over misery, because that isn't always going to be a realistic solution. It's about saying to yourself "Not today". Under the circumstances it seems ridiculous to shun melodrama, so I'll just say it - the struggle against suicidal ideation comes down to resolving daily to not kill yourself, until eventually something else does the job for you.

It's an almost unbearably cruel irony that this song worked better for me in this regard than it did for the man who actually wrote it. We both saved suicide for another year, winter after winter, until eventually he simply couldn't anymore. I get to keep making tiny changes to earth, and he doesn't, and there's no justice to be found there.

What there is, though, is gratitude. Scott's tiny changes to earth include me.

I realise him knowing that wouldn't have made the difference. But I hope it still matters, nevertheless.

A Dream Of Dawn

My piece on "The Long Night" is now up at Geek Syndicate.

Crucible 2019

This year's Crucible prediction: Trump 18 - 13 Higgins.

Bonus prediction: Higgins to retire after getting beaten like a chump, and blame it on having to work two weekends on the bounce, something no non-millionaire has ever had the misfortune to experience.

Infinite Diversity, Finite Combinations 3.1.14

Today we tackle an episode and main character so aggravating I can't even bring myself to enjoy it having a number as its title.

A Dream Of Knighthood

My review of "A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms" is up now.

Friday Dreadfleet: Keep The Wrappings Dry

Finally finished the Curse of Zandri.

Here she is with all the other Dreadfleet miniatures I've painted so far.

Next up: some scenery. Then, it's on to the Dwarf vessels.

A Dream Of Reunions

My coverage of the final season of Game of Thrones has begun.

(Good) Friday Warhammer: The Lions And The Cat

So F was good enough last week to once again unpack her camera equipment and take some snaps of a full army. This time round: my Dark Angels, an army containing my earliest paint jobs (that are allowed to be seen).

Note: Splodge has been included for scale. See if you can spot her.

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No thanks, Larry.

Infinite Diversity, Finite Combinations 1.1.14

IDFC returns, with a look at "Balance Of Terror".

Geek Syndicate Review: The Walking Dead Vol. 31

I did this here review about them there zombies.

Friday Warhammer: Unforgivably Messy

Two more Dark Angels, deployed to fight the increasing chaos in our living room.

This takes me to four Tactical Squads, and 2300 points. I've got a few really old models that need a bit of a touch-up to make them less hyper-nineties, and then I think it'll be time to take some photos of the whole shebang. Watch this etc.

Friday Warhammer: Big Gunbeasts Never Tire

Not a lot to say about these three - there's been Gargoyles all over the place for months now, and the Exocrine, like all my later 'Nid models, is very deliberately sparsely painted so as to fit in with my painting level as a teenager.

Still, it's very good to finally have some major-league artillery in my army. Poor old Barry Biovore wasn't really cutting it, as his almost hilariously pathetic duel with an Imperial Guard Basilisk a couple of years ago made all too clear.

Next time, things will be different...

40000 x 2

Woo eighty thousand hits woo.

Doubtless a lot of that is bot traffic, but still.

Tipping The Scales

We're into the last hours of the last day of January, so it's probably a good time for an update on my Year of Painting.

There's definitely been some modest progress, as you can see in the picture below. That's two finished Gargoyles, another two close to completion, and an Exocrine getting almost ready to get ignobly shot to death instantly the first time I put it into an army.

Slow progress, then, but progress nonetheless. Well, except for the small fact of it having been my birthday this month, so now I'm deeper in sprue-debt than ever.

Damn the generosity of others!

Wibbly-Wobbly, Creepy-Crawly

(Spoilers for Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse throughout.)

Saturday Warhammer: The Scale Of The Problem

One of my New Year's Resolutions (along with eating and drinking a bit more healthily and getting a senior professor fired for rampant transphobia) is to step up my painting game. I reckon I painted all of eight miniatures in 2018, and three of those were replacements for models destroyed in what we're calling only "The Incident".

So it'd be nice to do a bit better this time around. I've certainly got plenty of options, as the photograph below demonstrates.

Pretty daunting, I'll grant you - and more will likely arrive for my birthday in a week and a half (plus there's that whole Warhammer Conquest thing). Still, let's see how much smaller (larger; obviously larger) the pile will be by December 31st...