Tuesday, 25 March 2008

SpaceSquid (plus R) vs Hollywood No. 1

Title: Cod Almighty!

Hollywood Formula Pitch: (Bonfire of the Vanities + Jaws) x From Dusk Till Dawn

Synopsis: The touching yet hard-nosed story of how the executive at the No Catch cod farm pissed away a small fortune snorting cocaine off hookers' tits rather than engage robotically in the far nobler aim of continuing the genocide of an entire fish species. Goggle with nauseating jealously as the suits fritter away their expense accounts, and engage in golf games during the working day. Then watch with smug satisfaction as their immoral but faintly boring antics lead them into a spiral of failure and self-recrimination.

Oh, also; the director of the company is secretly developing mutated zombie cod that attack humans on sight, leading to a ludicrous twist in the third act where shoals of cruelly twisted gadidae attack the hero (whomever he is), and the big-titted heroine who is probably a journalist or something.

This will also be lead into a tacked-on romantic subplot which will give the ladies something to enjoy.

Money shot(s): A low-speed golf-cart chase ending in one cart careening into a bunker and detonating unconvincingly. A secret underground zombie cod factory in which several one-hit-point characters meet a grizzly end. A gratuitous sex scene, filmed underwater in a cod-hatchery.

Tagline: Time to get battered.

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