Friday, 21 November 2008

Best Phone Call Ever

SpaceSquid is relaxing in Calamari Castle when the phone rings. Caller ID warns him that it is his sister, and thus he may have to explain the next hour explaining trigonometry, or what an integer is.

SpaceSquid: Whaddup, little sister?

Lil Sis: Guess what?

SS: You know we're not allowed to play that game, since I always start off assuming you've become a prostitute, or possibly murdered someone.

LS: True. Actually, I found a rare species of stone fly this morning. I think. It's hard to tell, they all look the same.

SS: Was it just on your pillow when you woke up, or was there some kind of search involved?

LS: It turned up dead in an ice core. I'm going to be famous!

SS: Are you sure that's the right adjective?

LS: Absolutely. Only six people before me have found this thing.

SS: You think international glory awaits person number seven?

LS: It's very rare. Unbelievably rare. This could be one of the only remaining examples of an almost extinct species.

SS: And you killed it.

LS: ... Shit. I hope it wasn't a pregnant female.

SS: One day I have to sit you down with Baby's First Book Of Animal Reproduction.

LS: You know what I mean.

SS: That you hope it wasn't a female with a bag full of fertilised eggs slung over her shoulder?

LS: Actually, I'm pretty worried now. What if I finished them off? I could be prosecuted for genocide.

SS: I'm not sure it counts if it was just the once, and by accident. Still, you will have to bear the knowledge that you ended an entire species.

LS: No! They were so precious and so unique!

SS: You said they all looked the same.

LS: The abdomen was fractionally longer. The little things are important.

SS: Unless you include insects as little things, in which case you massacre them by the thousand in order to infinitesimally increase mankind's understanding of how rivers flow.

LS: Are you mocking my job? Because I seem to remember you telling me your research revolves entirely around taking an almost totally useless branch of mathematics and making it more vague.

SS: Good point.

LS: They may not let me go back into Alaska if they find out I'm wiping out entire species up there.

SS: I think Palin will be fine with it. Although she may only let you get away with killing the species large enough to be brought down with a twelve-gauge.

LS: Plus, once word gets out, all my equipment will be demolished by people desperate to get their hands on these bugs themselves.

SS: Rare dead insect theft is a big problem up on the Last Frontier, is it?

LS: Can I tell you about a rare beetle my friend found the other day?

SS: I'm hanging up now.

4 comments:

Senior Spielbergo said...

So is "little" sister older or younger?

SpaceSquid said...

Three years my junior, though she is frequently indistinguishable from a petulant teenager.

Senior Spielbergo said...

So that would make her my age then... Interesting... I wonder if I can possibly be described as indistinguishable from a petulant teenager... Probably...

SpaceSquid said...

Trust me, you don't compare.