Monday, 16 May 2011

How I Make New Friends

SpaceSquid has dropped in to his local massively expensive cocktail bar, since it’s the only place in town with working broadband. The barman is holding court over how awesome his drinks are.

BARMAN: A lot of people ask me “Will I not feel bad after drinking here?” And I say “No. I bet you can drink here all night without feeling bad.”

SPACESQUID: Until you look at your bank balance, obviously.

BARMAN: Well, yes. But you won’t have a hangover. Unless you’ve been drinking already. You have no idea how many people come in here having downed a bottle of Blossom Hill. At which point the bet is off.

SPACESQUID: Yeah.  Just because these drinks are more expensive than NHS prescriptions don’t make ‘em medicine.

BARMAN: Exactly. I can’t undo the damage they’ve already done.

SPACESQUID:It’s like sleeping with a ten quid hooker after lunch. Doesn’t matter how pretty your dinner date is, you’re not going to wake up feeling good the next morning.

BARMAN: Well, I guess that's...Wait, ten quid? Really?

SPACESQUID: I’m from the North. Everything’s cheap up there.

No comments: