Booze Me Baby: Cherry Beer Edition

So I bought some cherry beer and drank it. Then I wrote down THOUGHTS and FEELINGS.

Liefman’s Fruitesse

The standard Belgian fruit beer against which all others are measured. Or they are for me, anyway, given they sell this both on campus and one of my most regular haunts in Birmingham. A nice balance of sweet and sour, and not too strong to make ordering it pints particularly inadvisable.

Mort Subite: Kriek Lambic

As sour as the word “lambic” suggests. But this is cherrytown, Jack. Sour is the currency we’re trading in here. It works well, is what I’m saying. Plus the wee cork makes me feel like a giant at a wedding each time I open up another bottle. Pop pop!

Timmerman’s Kriek

Delighted to learn that “Lambicus” is a thing that somehow exists. As fun as that name is, though, there's not much there. Well, OK, that's not fair. The "problen", emphasis on the """", is that I don't think I'd have any chance of distinguishing this from Leifmans if I were blindfolded, or distracted by a squirrel, or whatever.

But that's fine. Leifmans is good. But its also slightly stronger, so, you know. Doesn't feel like I need two of you, Lambicus.

Grisette Bio Fruits Des Bois

This is borderline undrinkable. Tastes like Ribena and backwash, diluted to an extent you could fairly call homeopathic. Serve only to your worst enemies, who are at your house for some reason.

 

 

Cherry Chouffe 

A bit darker and richer than the other offerings here. Also ludicrously strong, so be advised. It’s a good job the bottles have such a low centre of gravity, because I was gesticulating wildly within minutes. Best paired with a sense of creeping shame the next morning.

 

 

Sam Smith's Organic Cherry

I was semi-secretly hoping I'd hate this, given Sam Smiths pubs have gotten themselves a reputation recently for being hotbeds of bullshit ableism.

You can imagine my disappointment at how absolutely gorgeous this beer is, then. Like the ideal blind date for the worst man you've ever met, the sweet:tart ratio is almost perfect. It's light enough to go down easy, and not *quite* strong enough for that fact to be a danger to public health.

Thank Cthulhu that the name is total shit, then. BOO, Sam Smiths. BOO! You're an embarrassment! BOOOOOO!