Friday, 12 November 2010

Wasn't Robin Hood A Terrorist?

So, the entire Twitterverse has exploded in rage over the upholding of the conviction of a man who made a dumb joke about bombing Robin Hood Airport back in January.  A lot of people are clearly very worried about the free speech allegations, but I think it was Chris B who hit the nail on the head yesterday when he said "Are we really saying that bomb threats we believe should be taken seriously are only worth a £1000 fine?"

Well, according to the Guardian, that's easily explained:
[T]he Crown Prosecution Service caused controversy by using a law aimed against nuisance calls – originally to protect "female telephonists at the Post Office" in the 1930s – rather than specific bomb hoax legislation, which requires stronger evidence of intent.  
Obviously, that might enrage some people; probably the kind of people who can tell the difference between deliberately aggravating phone calls and a single comment theoretically readable by anyone.  But to those people I say: don't look at this as a problem.  Look at it as an opportunity.

We now have the chance to precisely calibrate just how overwhelmingly hyper-sensitive the law has now become to any form of tangential terrorist reference.  All we need is a few people with sufficient spine and disposable income to send one or more of the following tweets:
  • "I'm gonna blow up the Houses of Parliament using explosive orangutans!"
  • "I'm gonna pack three dozen suicide bombers into a rocket and detonate the Moon!"
  • "I'm gonna build a time machine and use it to assassinate Jesus!"[1]
  • "I'm gonna build a time machine, meet Muhammad, and have him put "Death to infidels, especially those who watch X-Factor" into the Qur'an!"
  • "I'm gonna collect all the tears wept in rage over this bullshit verdict and use them to flood Robin Hood Airport anyway."
Then, all we have to do is see how much money is gauged out of our noble volunteers, and we'll be able to determine exactly which elements of obvious jokes (funny or otherwise) are causing the problem.

(And they are jokes, British Justice System.  Don't fine me and make me lose my job. Please.  I mean, they're obviously ridiculous.  Work on my explosive orangutans hasn't even reached beta testing.)

[1] Copyright Chris B.


Anonymous said...

"I'm gonna build a time machine and use it to assassinate Jesus!"

But Jesus was marked for death anyway. He's whole purpose was to die for the sins of humanity. Wouldn't it be better to travel back in time to prevent Jesus from being killed?

SpaceSquid said...

I like this idea, if only because it would allow someone to release "Red Alert: Holy Land".

(Also: the word verification box the blog has given me this time around wants me to input "spite". Could it be this place recognises its master; even on a strange computer?)