Tuesday 22 February 2011

Being Human: Secrets Revealed

Turn away, ye faint of heart or intolerant of spoilers!  For I, your intrepid SpaceSquid, have at great cost acquired a secret document detailing exactly what will happen in the remaining episodes of Being Human's third year!

Episode 6: Nina learns of George's tryst with Daisy last year, and breaks up with him in disgust.  She also learns that a werewolf's gestation period is the same as a dogs, and will give birth just before the next full moon.  Meanwhile, George's younger sister Jessica is tragically killed, and her ghost begins to haunt him.

Episode 7.  Nina gives birth.  Mitchell and Annie split up.  Mitchell attempts to recover by embarking on an impressive spree of loveless one-night stands.  Annie decides her attempts to help both normal people and vampires have been in vain, and decides to focus on werewolves; singing bad songs about unloved domestic animals in seedy lycanthrope bars.  Herrick begins to show signs of improvement, and he and Jessica begin to bond as fellow newcomers, a fact they are desperate to hide from George.

Episode 8.  Nina and George continue to try to maintain separate love lives whilst looking after their baby.  The housemates discover Jessica and Herrick have started a relationship; causing George to fly into a rage.  Mitchell begins to realise his fear of Nina has nothing to do with the prophecy, and instead represents repressed feelings towards her that he can no longer hide.  All of this comes to a shocking head during an impromptu house holiday to Barbados.

This season will then conclude with the shock announcement that the show will return next year with the new title Friends: The Shit Years: The Next Generation.  Steven Moffat announces three days later that Season 6 of Doctor Who will now be called Does Anyone Call Coupling A Modern Classic Yet?

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