Monday, 10 June 2013

Help! We Are Being Held Hostage!

It's kind of hard to get out and enjoy the wilds of Scotland when these pine martens keep raining outside our kitchen window.  Squeals of outrage at 3am aren't helping either. 

I could probably forgive that, though, had the little bastards not found a bee's hive in the attic and ripped it apart for the honey.  Under normal circumstances I'm all for the destruction and immiseration of insects, but given the refugees of the attack attempted to find cover in our spare room and bathroom, I'm rather less impressed.  Especially since the resulting battle apparently created a hole in the roof through which immature pine martens keep falling and screaming blue murder until either their parents find them, or they manage to run into the kitchen and try and make it for the stairs.  So far we've been alert enough to intercept them, but it's only a matter of time before they make it upstairs and into our bed...

The face of the enemy

Friday, 7 June 2013

Friday Scottishness

Light to no posting for the whole of next week, peeps, as I'll be traipsing around Scotland with the Other Half, first in a lovely little cottage near Ullapool, and then at our friends' wedding.

I leave you with something to get you into a Celtic mood.

A Typhoon Of Tragedy


These people were also in this episode, apparently
So... um...

(TV spoilers beyond mortal comprehension after the jump)

It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Filled By Satan

This is from the fairly far-right and utterly anti-logic Corner, so I suspect they actually agree with him, but holy chickenballs, Virginia has some interesting politicians.  Would-be Lieutenant Governor E.W. Jackson:
[M]ost people are dead spirits. As such they have the nature of Satan who does not want to have anything to do with God or anyone related to Him. Of course they are not aware that they are imbued with the nature of Satan. They would be mortified by the idea of becoming Satanists or devil worshippers. Satan benefits far more from people who do not know they serve him than from those who knowingly bow to him. Your spirit was made for attachment. It is either attached to God or to Satan, but it is not neutral, no matter how much people think themselves to be. 
 My question is: if my soul is attached to Satan, why isn't my life much cooler?  I've seen Good vs Evil (man, I miss that show).  I could get some awesome shit from this deal.  I could bang Jolene Blalock in-between chase scenes in golf carts, for instance.  And that's just off the top of my head.

Still, it could be worse, I suppose.  At least I don't have the patience for yoga:
The purpose of such meditation is to empty oneself. . . . [Satan] is happy to invade the empty vacuum of your soul and possess it...You will end up filled with something you probably do not want. 
 Like bullshit, for example.

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

D CDs #486: Words Of The World


Like most rational people, I have almost no time for Pitchfork, because generally speaking neither sneering condescension nor rambling solipsism constitute acceptable alternatives to reviewing music.  And yes, I say this in the full knowledge that my own music reviews aren't fit for purpose either.  The difference is music reviews aren't the entire fucking purpose of me.

Even so, if a million monkeys bash away at typewriters (all holding pages previously marked with "this band reminds me of a much better one you haven't heard of" or "I preferred this band before they had the money to hire a sound engineer"), occasionally something of interest might emerge by chance.  Take this, for example, from the review of Peter Criss's first solo album:
"Writing about music is like dancing to architecture."


-paraphrase of a quote oft attributed to Elvis Costello

Whenever I see that line pop up in a review, I think the same thing: "Too fucking lazy to think of anything to say."
There is something to that, I'll admit, and the idea has been running through my head ever since I first spun this record and found myself struggling for words.  But is it really the case that it must always be possible to pin music down in prose?  Isn't the whole point of much of the very best music to bypass your higher brain functions entirely?  Is there not a danger in dragging purely emotional responses into the cortex and pummelling them with language?

Such are the risks in talking about "That's The Way Of The World".  Take album opener "Shining Star".  Funky, clearly.  Awesome, undoubtedly.  Utterly banal lyrics delivered so brilliantly that it couldn't matter less?  Yeeup, my friends.  Victory is yours, gentlemen.  This conversation is over.

On and on it goes.  The slow, soulful title track.  The horn-powered dash of "Yearnin' Learning", which admittedly pretty much recycles the same (astonishingly good) bag of tricks run through on "Feeling Happy", but with the addition of piano and even more awesomeness so that you don't mind.  By the time you hit the slow rap on the subject of spiritual self-love in "All About Love" you're utterly sold, and even those who manage to remain stony-faced there will be undone once "Africano" breaks out into a mess of funk guitars that would make Shaft wonder whether he was good enough to walk down the street with this in the background.

OK, so maybe, maaaaaybe, we could get by without "Reasons", and album closer "See The Light" feels just a shade flabby. But these are islands of competence in a sea of excellence, not stumbles by any sensible definition.  The individual parts of this are disgracefully good, but the whole simply defies analysis.  The idea of there being something so balls-out soulful and funky that my higher brain functions simply refuse to engage is something I don't remember having experienced before,

Which I guess is something to say after all.

Nine tentacles

Monday, 3 June 2013

Trek Nitpicking Nitpicking



This, I accept, is a pretty good distillation of all the problems with Star Trek Into Darkness.  Some I noticed at the time, some I realised during later rumination, and some I hadn't noticed until now.

All that said, can we knock this nonsense off, please?

(Minor spoilers from the first few minutes of the film follow)

Sunday, 2 June 2013

A Squall Of Siblings

 
"Second son" is a strange way to describe someone.  It's a term that's doubly founded upon reference to someone else.  You don't get to be a second son unless there's been a first son, and a father before him (women are also required, though this being Westeros, they won't feature in such considerations as much as they should).  In the status-obsessed society of the Seven Kingdoms, it's a strange way to be defined, because it's all about your potential.  To a man of title, a second son is both insurance and risk.  Insurance because they offer you a second chance should your heir meet an early and unfortunate fate, and risk because raising a man to know maximum power is contingent upon his brother's death is a policy that can go very badly wrong.

(TV spoilers below)