Five things I learned from the new Indiana Jones film (spoilers ahoy, my peeps):
1) Indiana Jones is now too full of awesome to be affected by the most basic rules of magnetism, gravity, or radioactive decay;
2) Despite his new-found immunity to the laws of physics, Indy still can't get his arse out of trouble without yet another convenient Higher Power arriving to bitch-slap the opposition;
3) You are likely to undercut your point that the Cold War made everyone unnecessarily paranoid about the "Red under the bed" if you have the hero's BFF sell him out to the Russkies twice in the same film;
4) The two most indestructible objects on Earth are snakes and fridges;
5) Even the most fiery of independent women will forgive the man who left her a month before their wedding day whilst pregnant, and do so within hours of meeting him again, and will then proceed to stare at him with pathetic co-dependent puppy dog eyes ad nauseum.
Five things I learned from another visit to the hated South:
1) There are more antiques shops in Hampshire than there are pubs;
2) Hypermobility looks like it really, really hurts (full sympathies to Mr Cleavage, who already had enough to deal with putting me up for the weekend);
3) Car cigarette lighters are not something you want to fool around with (in fairness, Dr B learned this is a significantly more painful way than I did);
4) Flight of the Conchords is awesome. So awesome that I should have kept the DVDs for myself and just given Cleavage a novelty toothbrush, as was at one point tradition between us;
5) No amount of faux-Victorian lampposts and artfully arranged deciduous trees can make up for the fact that paying £7.80 to see a film is a fucking outrage.