Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Shake #16

Today's shake: Blackberry Jam

Taste: 3
Texture: 5
Synergy: 2
Scorn: 5
Total Score: 3.75

General Comments: This shake received a Scorn of 5 mainly because the very idea of it simply defined rational analysis. The combination of ingredients required to create the drink are so incongruous that my mind could not grip onto the possible consequences of mixing them, the fingers of my psyche kept slipping off the smooth sides of the hypothetical construct sphere of this shake's concept. Or something.

Anyway, it made no sense before I tasted it, and it made no sense afterwards either. It reminded me of the time I ate green apple ice-cream whilst in Slovenia. It wasn't that it was bad, really, so much as it made no sense in my head; I was tasting apple flavour (as in the one they use in boiled sweets, rather than anything that had ever actually been grown) and ice-cream at the same time, and it didn't make any sense. Imagine ordering a pizza, only for a beef chow mein to arrive instead. You might like chow mein, but you ordered pizza, and it's a pizza guy that's shown up, and he's given you a small pot of garlic sauce to put on the noodles [1]. It was a bit like that.

Anyway, the blackberry jam shake has the same problem. Only in this case it was bad, so I guess in the above analogy the pizza guy punches you in the nuts, or has slept with your sister. Whatever. Don't drink this shake, is what I'm saying.

[1] I am not discounting the possibility that putting garlic sauce in a chow mein wouldn't work. In my experience there is almost nothing that can't be improved with garlic sauce.


Talia said...

Mmmm, garlic sauce...

*realises this is why her boyfriend never wants to kiss her after pizza*

Anyways...Jam? In milkshake? There lies the path of madness in my book!

SpaceSquid said...

I'm pretty sure I walked that path quite some time ago; and for much more interesting reasons than jam milkshakes...

Talia said...

Was it for wenching? Did I make you mad with my awesome wenching skillz?!

Or not...ahem...I'll be quiet now.

SpaceSquid said...

The sight of you wenching is enough to drive a man to madness, true (in the best possible way, of course), but I was long-gone by then in any case.

Plus, wenching is something for a squid to observe, not to participate in...