Total Score: 2.5
General Comments: Here is what you need to know about the blackjack shake:
- It looks like fish sperm and poppy seeds;
- Its tastes are entirely unmixable; you start with vanilla, then get hit in the head with aniseed. You might as well be carrying an ice-cream in one hand and a blackjack bar in the other, licking each alternately. We have thus discovered the world's first step function in shake form;
- The shake is suffused with tiny particles of blackjack that bond your teeth together, like a strange form of molecular glue. This is not a good thing, though J-Dawg has pointed out that once all my regular teeth have rotted away (presumably from doing stupid shit like drinking milkshakes all the time), I will be able to use this shake to keep my dentures in;
- It will turn the inside of your mouth grey, making it appear as though you are riddled with Tongue Leprosy.
Update: Thanks to S. Spielbergo for reminding me how to divide. Oops...