Monday, 20 September 2010

Five Things I Learned In Glasgow

1. There is quite simply no way to hang a poster in Glasgow saying "STOP TORY CUTS!" without a strategically-added "N" appearing almost immediately, and you're a fool if you think otherwise.

2. If you're planning to spend your last Saturday night before emigrating to South America watching your favourite musician, do not spend the afternoon beforehand engaged in an impromptu drinking contest with someone with six inches and at least a couple of stone on you. Especially if you haven't eaten more than a egg and cress sandwich all day, and if apparently your Welsh upbringing has led you to confuse "a drinking competition" with what those of us who are Middlesbrough-born describe as "a weekend" (seriously, sorry you got sick, Erika!)

3. There is a barman in the Curler's Rest (adjacent to Hillhead metro station) that looks exactly like me from behind and to the side. I spent the whole afternoon seeing him out of the corner of my eye and turning to look. God knows why, of course; I probably didn't need a closer look to determine that it was not, in fact, me.

4. Turns out the world wasn't crying out for a lager and rum cocktail after all.

5. You can get ejected from a pub in Glasgow on a Saturday night for looking too morose. I don't even remember being sad. Perhaps I was upset about how badly my cocktail skills have atrophied. Or guilty about my newest acquaintance vomiting out the contents of her stomach whilst the support act was on. Mainly, though, I think it's because Josh Ritter didn't play Kathleen.

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