Friday 1 June 2012

At Least Put Some Effort In

There's plenty of people agape with contemptuous disbelief right now at Mitt Romney's suggestion of a Constitutional Amendment requiring the president have at least three years experience working in business.

I'm pretty outraged as well.  Not because it's a ridiculous idea, but because it's a ridiculous idea that's also really boring.  If you're going to start supporting arbitrary hoops for candidates to jump through, you should at least be inventive.  How about deciding no-one be allowed to take the Oval unless:
  • They've punched a shark.  Like, really hard.  The shark has to be in tears afterwards.  No tears means vice presidency only;
  • They've completed Halo 3 on Legendary difficulty, whilst wearing socks on their hands;
  • They've strangled at least one Communist, using the American flag;
  • They've challenged the Hulk to an arm-wrestle.  They don't have to win, but when Hulk says "Puny presidential candidate!", it has to sound at least a little ironic;
  • They have laid their hands upon the sick, and, lo!, they have been healed (so long as they have health insurance, obviously);
  • They've spilled Chuck Norris' pint, and refused to apologise;
  • They've jumped out of an aeroplane into another one, all whilst singing the national anthem;
  • They've set fire to a killer-bee hive with the power of their thoughts;
  • They've perfected the moonwalk, on the actual moon;
  • They've suggested the USA has no business policing the world.
Now that, my friends, would be a campaign season worth watching.

1 comment:

BigHead said...

Clearly "working in business" is a silly idea, but perhaps "actually worked in a real job" might not be so bad. It would rid us of Cameron, after all