With less than a fortnight until the Americans decide whether to be under the control of a millionaire who claims the right to assassinate his own people whenever he feels like it, or someone really bad like Mitt Romney, Charles Pierce reminds us how strange this must be for John Kerry.
Not just Kerry, actually, but Gore too. And Obama himself. There's something almost impressive in watching a media that painted the last three Democratic candidates as, in order, a congenital liar, a combat-shy flip-flopper, and a man nowhere near as friendly and approachable as his opponent, now trying to push the idea that Mitt Romney might be what the country needs.
There is no appreciable difference between this situation and arguing that pears are too round, grapefruits too small, and bananas too much of a pain to peel, but hot damn it'd be good to get an orange right about now. This is a man who's lies have reached such pointlessly obvious levels that he's been corrected by debate moderators in real time. This is a man who spent ninety minutes on Monday night claiming he collectively agrees with everything President Obama has done, even though individually he's suggested each and every action is somewhere between a mistake, and apology, and an act of treason. This is a man who hides behind his wife while she tries to argue that Mormon missionary work in France is indistinguishable from facing Taliban rifle-fire in Kandahar.
And, not for nothing, but this is a man everyone thought was an unctuous turd until a fortnight ago, when his lies at least started sounding more pleasant, and when he started letting his staffers play football with the press gaggle.
Honest to God. If you're going to sell yourselves, at least ask a decent price, would you?