Friday, 11 May 2012

Uncivil Wars

It's already been recalled due to the massive (and entirely predictable and warranted) outcry, but Kate Sheppard thought it worth a little time to talk about the American Heartland's latest billboard:


As I say, a lot of people were pissed as hell about this.  Quite a few other people seem to be mainly amused that anyone could be so stupid as to have conceived of this as an ad campaign - the national multi-million-dollar equivalent of the drunk guy at a party shouting "You know who else was a vegetarian? Motherfucking Hitler!"

Sheppard's take on all this is interesting, and ties into something I've been thinking about for a while: how does something as pointlessly offensive and stupid come out the same offices that just a few months ago was complaining that those who accept the existence of global warming don't want to have a respectful and honest debate on the issues.

The fact that places like Heartland are disgracefully hypocritical isn't particularly surprising, of course.  But these constant calls to "civility" - which you'll find in almost any political or cultural debate of any real degree of contention - should always be considered in the wider context.  There's no doubt that sometimes it's necessary to tell people to sit down, stop shouting, and take a few deep breaths.  That's not what Heartland (or David Brooks, or George Will, or the late David Broder, or...) is aiming for.

The "incivility" approach is just one more arrow in the quiver of those people who don't actually want - or realise they can't afford - to actually craft a coherent and robust argument.  It's one of a great number of lazy debating techniques that together form what I call "minimum-effort arguing."  The commentator knows what they want to say, then chooses the fastest way of getting there in a way that isn't obviously stupid to just about everyone.  If that means stating their opponents are too loud and aggressive (or even worse, "shrill") to talk to, that's what they'll use.  If that means suggesting there isn't really a problem here at all, or that both sides are pretty much in agreement, they'll stick that in instead.

If those can't quite get them to the finish post, they'll try the next easiest approach.  George Will demonstrated this in epic style a couple of years ago, when he argued that because 1998 was the hottest year on record, there couldn't have been global warming since then.  This isn't just an obviously stupid statement, it's an obviously stupid statement that, were you to slightly re-jig it and play it back to him, Will wouldn't buy for a second.  If you told him Babe Ruth's home-run record proved every new batting technique since the '30s has been a waste of time, he'd laugh you out of the room.

But the objective isn't to craft a position using logical planks that they'd consider firm in all circumstances.  Just as when they complain their opponents are being too mean, the only aim is to put as little effort as possible into dealing with an argument they want to avoid, but don't want to look like they're avoiding.  Sometimes it's a Catch-22 like "civility" (Catch-22 because any argument that can't be dismissed as uncivil can be taken as evidence that the topic of discussion can't be all that important), and sometimes it's pretending that scientific concepts as advanced as variance don't exist.  Sometimes it's to point out the opponent has an ideological bias, as though that alone means the arguments being put forward can't be valid.  Sometimes, you get someone like Ross Douthat, who's at least clever enough to ensure his arguments are locally sound, and only fall apart when you compare them over, say, a whole book.

But it all comes from the same place, a desire to justify what one believes - or more often, what one is selling - using the quickest method you can expect the rubes to swallow.  The fact that these people keep pushing this crap isn't remotely surprising (which isn't to say we should stop pushing against it), but the willingness of people to internalise this endless wave of ad hominem crap is a shame they must bear for themselves.

PS: someone should really write up an online Heartland Billboard Generator, like someone did with the Tory election ads last year.  Think of the fun we could have with history's greatest monsters:







Thursday, 10 May 2012

Deconstructing The Assembly


Right.  Now that I've seen The Avengers (or Avengers Assemble, if we must), my little prior data conflict problem from a few weeks ago has now been resolved.

Let's start by comparing Wilson's comments on the film with what I like to call "objective reality."  Wilson's comments can be divided into three groups: bafflingly stupid, deliberately mendacious, and actual unquestionable falsehoods.  His least ridiculous claim is that the film has weak dialogue.  That's certainly a position I disagree with pretty strongly, but whatever floats one's boat, right? Of course, his one actual example of crappy dialogue "They're gods, basically!" is misquoted, mis-stressed, and shorn of context, but at least all those words did appear in the same sentence at some point.  Not all of his objections are so grounded in fact.

Wilson's next objection is that the film is deeply anti-feminist.  I suspect he has at least a ghost of a point here (though as his co-host pointed out, he's basically complaining that Whedon hasn't done enough of a job restructuring the sausage-fest source material), but he undercuts whatever argument he could sensibly construct on the topic by crafting his examples from whole cloth.  There is not only one female character unless you whisper under your breath "who's an official member of the Avengers."  I'd not argue for a second if Wilson were to suggest Maria Hill deserved more screen time, but just pretending she doesn't exist to make the claim of sexism easier to apply is the work of a hack.  Pepper Potts gets little more than a cameo, but in her brief time on screen she shows herself completely able to stand up to Stark's overwhelming charm and force of will, and frankly beats him down more than once as well.

(From here on in, there are minor spoilers, folks)

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Vital Booze Update

The Other Half and I haunted a small beer festival at the weekend, and on this occasion I managed not to lose my increasingly illegible, burger-grease-smeared notes in the process.

A quick appraisal of the delights on offer, then.  Ahem.

1. Yorkshire Blond (Osset Ossett Brewery). "A lager-like beer." I shall hand over reviewing duties to the Other Half: "If I wanted to drink flat lager seasoned with fag-ends, I'd have stayed in Stockton-on-Tees this weekend."

2. White Sea (Newby Wyke). "A pale beer with grapefruit and citrus." This time the flat lager is untroubled by a fag-butt aftertaste.  Somewhat depressing that this constitutes progress. Can taste the citrus, at least, though I wasn't sure why I was supposed to care.

3. Lincolnshire (Skidbrooke Cyder Co.). "A sophisticated mellow character." This is utterly undrinkable. It tastes like you're swigging back diluted ethanol whilst hanging around Ambassador Kosh's quarters.

"How will this end?"
"With a kebab. Of scampering."

4. Bushels Kentish Cider (Biddenham). "Sweet, still, strong cider."  Ding ding ding! We have a winner.  This is clear and light and, as advertised, sweet.  It's almost a perry, and how can that be a bad thing? The answer is IT CANNOT! Call off the search!

Wait!  We still have five more beer tokens.  Resume the search!

5. Heck's Farmhouse Cider (Hecks.)  You know that burnt-orange quasi-crack stuff they dust over BBQ Pringles to make them so moreish?  Imagine covering oak branches with it instead, and then liquidising the results.  Then making me drink that.

Heck's is a little bit worse than that sounds.

6. Expresso Stout (Dark Star). "A black beer brewed with roasted barley malt and challenger hops... ground Arabica coffee beans... are added".  The shittiest coffee imaginable, stirred into the shittiest beer imaginable.  The Other Half really liked it though, and in the interests of science I'd be prepared to try it again, as long as milk and sugar had been added.

7. Navelgazer (Orchard Pig). Tastes like water drunk from a condom.

8. Jaipur IPA (Thornbridge Brewery). "Citrus dominated." Existed as a drink.  No further comments.

9. Boxing Dog (Mr Whitehead's Cider Co.) A serviceable scrumpy, moderately refreshing, but slightly bland, like cold diet lemonade on a hot day, or a blowjob from a particularly struggling asthmatic.

Monday, 7 May 2012

ANKOD

It's been ages since I had a music quiz up here, so let's give it another whirl.  Another variation on the theme this time around.  Rather than giving you first lines and asking for song and artist, I'm going to give you the first word of the first line, then the rest of the line as initials, together with the initials of song, artist and album (in that order). One point each for title, band, album and the full first line.  One hundred points in all; how neat.

No idea whether this will work, but I figure it's worth a go.  This time round I'm not putting them in any order, but once again no artist appears more than once.

1.   "When YLOYS" YLTT - JB - ROE  "When you look over your shoulder" Running on Empty - Jackson Browne - Running on Empty (Mozz/BigHead/lyndagb)
2.   "Can YHTWITTF" NE - I - MAW  "Can you hear the worlds I'm trying to find" No Emotion -  Idlewild - Make Another World (Jamie/lyndagb)
3.   "A GPWC" FPT - R - TB  "A green plastic watering can" Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead - The Bends (edenspresence/Jamie)
4.   "I DKIIT" A - MSP - EMG "I don't know if I'm tired" Australia - Manic Street Preachers - Everything Must Go (Mozz)
5.   "As IWGOTCAKM" WITJ - M - GI "As I was going over the Cork and Kerry mountains" Whiskey in the Jar - Metallica - Garage, Inc. (BigHead)
6.   "The KADUABNH" CFTC - E - ESB  "The kids are digging up a brand new hole" Cancer for the Cure - Eels - Electro-Shock Blues (edenspresence)
7.   "Crazy BIBRTT" M - FF - IYH  "Crazy but I'm relieved this time" Miracle - Foo Fighters - In Your Honor (BigHead/Fries'n'Shake)
8.   "We SSAOI" NDL - S - ATW "We should stay and order in" No Deliveries List - Styrofoam - A Thousand Words (BigHead)
9.   "Everybody HCFS" SS - R - A  "Everybody here comes from somewhere" Supernatural Superserious - REM - Accelerate (Jamie)
10. "We NV (O)" V -  BN - D "We need vices (oh)" Vices - Brand New - Daisy (James)
11. "I GSBI" U - RA&TC - I/I  "I get some bad ideas" Users - Ryan Adams & The Cardinals - III/IV (Mozz)
12. "I SMTS" SD - J - GM  "I sing myself to sleep" Sit Down - James - Gold Mother (Mozz)
13. "I WALOAND" ISWM - B&S - DCW "I wrote a letter on a nothing day" If She Wants Me - Belle & Sebastian - Dear Catastrophe Waitress (Mozz)
14. "You WLATB" SD - AT - AT "You were like a toilet bowl" Sundials - Alkaline Trio - Alkaline Trio (Mozz)
15. "Sail LOW" SK - TC - TC "Sail lightly on winds" Skeleton Key - The Coral - The Coral (James)
16. "Meet HBTR" SD - B - S "Meet him by the road" Slow Dog - Belly - Star (James)
17. "Elysium, IECAYC" E - M - W  "Elysium, is everyone chipping at your cordiality?" Elysium - Madness - Wonderful (edenspresence)
18. "Woke UITT" PJ - THS - AKM  "Woke up in the twenties" Positive Jam - The Hold Steady - Almost Killed Me (edenspresence/Kirsty)
19. "Hey MYKIRO" BH - TO - S "Hey man you know I'm really okay" Bad Habit - The Offspring - Smash (BigHead)
20. "Listen HN" LPM - SS - DHM "Listen here, now" Last Po' Man - Seasick Steve - Dog House Music (James)
21. "You CMTYA" WAYF - TP - S  "You consider me the young apprentice" Wrapped Around Your Finger - The Police - Sychronicity (edenspresence/Mozz) 
22. "Someone TMW" TF - GBV - DTC "Someone tell me why" Teenage FBI - Guided By Voices - Do The Collapse (Mozz)
23. "Summer HCAP" WMUWSE - GD - AI  "Summer has come and passed" Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day - American Idiot (edenspresence)
24. "I WSPTTW" IBTGTM - SP - EO  "I wanted something that's purer than the water" It's Beginning To Get To Me - Snow Patrol - Eyes Open - Mozz
25. "I WAFTSSC" TU - TBS - WYWTB "I wait around for the still small center" The Union - Taking Back Sunday - Where You Want To Be (Kirsty)

We got fifteen American artists, five English, three (predominantly) Scottish, one Welsh, and one Belgian.  Two solo artists (arguably three), the rest are at least nominally bands.  One song is a cover.

Good luck!

Update: 38 down already!  Much respect to edenspresence, Mozz and BigHead (who also gets an award for coolest comment).  Just so everyone knows, it's more than fine to finish off a partial answer.  It shouldn't be too hard I'd think, for example, for someone to work out which song from the Foo's In Your Honor #7 is, its two discs notwithstanding.  Plenty of first lines from identified songs up there as well.

Update II: 49! One more to get halfway, with some low-hanging fruit still to be picked!  No-one knows the track list from Eyes Open?  Or Make Another World, now?

Update III: Up to 62 now, and thanks to BigHead, there's plenty more partial answers and (in the comments) possible hints and clues.  There are at least seven more points that shouldn't be much of a problem.

Update IV: 75%. Boom.

Friday, 4 May 2012

The Road Is Long

Rather sick of hearing Mitt Romney bleating about how "even Jimmy Carter" would have given the order to take out bin Laden when the chance came.  Robert Farley has done a good job pointing out the fact that Obama's decision wasn't the unambiguously correct one at the time, and James Fallows has pointed out that Carter already made the same choice, with disastrous consequences (in fairness, I can just about believe Romney is trying to say "even Jimmy Carter would have made that call the day after Operation Eagle Claw").

There are legitimate conversations to be had on whether "I was the guy who ordered bin Laden be shot to death" is a kosher topic to run on, though it beats seven shades of shit out of Bush's re-election campaign message of "I've invaded a country for no reason and slaughtered tens of thousands of its civilians - do you really want to risk changing who's in charge right now?".  That's not really a debate anyone in the GOP can credibly participate in, not that that's stopped McCain. "Heroes don't brag", he tells us, which presumably means his approximately 215,472,838,111 references to his time in the Hanoi Hilton were just reminding us the guy can't fly for shit.

What's really being lost in all this though is the sense of a process.  It's not like both President Obama and Bizarro-States President mcCain would both have gotten the same call on the same day because an American tourist happened to see bin Laden popping to the shops in downtown Kabul.  The final call was the end result of three years of other decisions made by Obama's administration.  Maybe Romney was actually right in 2007 when he said hunting down Osama wasn't worth the time and money that could be otherwise be spent shattering Al-Qaeda as a whole.  Maybe President McCain's top secret for catching Osama (remember, heroes don't brag, but they do claim they alone can catch mass-murderers but won't say how unless they're put in charge of the country) would actually have gotten him faster than Obama managed.  These kind of counter-factuals are generally quite unpersuasive, but they're at least arguable.

What you don't get to do, though, is note that after three years of work, the last hurdle was really easy.  Even if that were true, and it wasn't, Mitt may as well pour scorn on FDR on the grounds that it was a no-brainer to have MacArthur and Nimitz sign off on the Japanese surrender.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Sacrifice The Stragglers

Tremble, feeble humanity!  We have become wise to your tricks!  The article might blame weather conditions for the lack of squid-seizing, but in truth we were all the seabed drawing up our plans for total subjugation of the Earth's surface.

Sleep lightly.

(Also, too: £210 for that thing?  If I'd found that in a seafood wrap, I'd think someone was taking the piss.)

(h/t Ibb)

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Private Dick Work

Hmm.  This is a difficult story to take a stance on (my hilarious summary: a dick is forced to give up working for another dick because a bunch of other dicks don't like his opinions on dick.  You're welcome, comedy).  On the one hand, this guy shares my first name.  On the other, he is by all accounts a staggering arsehole.  On a third hand (appendage?  Am I still pretending to be a squid, I forget), the guy got hounded out of his job purely because he's gay.  And on another hand again (imagine I'm playing pattycake with an exact duplicate of myself.  No, actually, don't do that), dude knew he was signing on to work for a guy who was quite happy to let homophobes run rampant at his debates in the hopes it'd get him five more votes when it comes to November.

If it weren't for the human cost here (Grenell's awesome gittitude notwithstanding), I'd say I was quite happy about this development, if only because it proves once again (and there are still some people who haven't been paying attention) that the American right's problem with homosexuality is not some ridiculous nit-picking over the possible extrapolations of changing marriage law, it's that they don't like gays, full stop.  The only thing we don't yet know is which of the following three options is their favourite:

  1. No homosexual should be allowed to work for a politician conservatives wish to vote for;
  2. No homosexual should be allowed to work in any position where normal people might have to talk to them, and maybe even shake hands;
  3. No homosexual should be allowed to work.
(Actually, I'm pretty sure we already know it's gotten at least as far as number two, given the insane response to Ellen DeGeneres being hired to advertise something completely unrelated to sexuality.)