"The White Man, Disguised As A Falcon, Swoops In And Yet Again Steals A Salmon From Crow's Talons"

With a name like "The Gift", it was never going to be too hard to find a unifying theme for Game of Throne's forty-seventh episode. One of the characters is even kind enough to reference the title as the episode approached its end. "I brought you a gift."

As the circumstances there show, though, sometimes the gift's what is less important than its why, and the how. How did these gifts come into the giver's possession in the first place? Were they bought, or found? Most often it's neither: most often they are stolen. Which of course makes them no gift at all. "Nemo dat quod non habet", people. You cannot give what you do not own.

So who is giving what to whom, and why, and from where did they get their gifts in the first place? There are several packages to unwrap as we work out way through this week's instalment. First, though, we need to return to the ugliest scene the show has yet generated, and talk about how it's all gotten so much worse.

(The material below the fold carries both a spoiler warning and a trigger warning regarding sexual assault).

Friday Paintbench

I was asked last weekend how my painting is going (it might not have been a genuine question; I'm bad at sarcasm. Also cartwheels) which made me realise how long it's been since I put some photos up. Mainly that's because it's been a while since I actually finished anything, which in turn is because I keep starting things. The classic trap.

Still, last time I showed everyone just how much I was working on it embarrassed me into actually finishing something off, so let's see if that can work again. Up first is my termagant assembly line.

Then the Land Speeder Vengeance Fliss bought me for my birthday and which I should really be getting on with.

An under-coated Tavern Maid from Talisman. This one is lying fallow mainly because I'm afraid to start it. I can make women look tough or creepy; alluring is a whole new one. And yes, there's no actual reason the tavern maid needs to be sexy. I just feel the weight of tradition on me.

A Space Hulk Terminator I seem to keep forgetting to finish off.

And finally, a pair of Dreadfleet ships I never get around to spraying black because I only remember I need to do it when it's raining.

And there we go. That's everything.

(Except the four Eldar Guardians I'm halfway through under-coating. I have a problem. Send help. Or Ceramite Paint, actually. Send that.)

"Great Dancers Are Not Great Because Of Their Technique, They Are Great Because Of Their Passion"

With my feelings on that scene at least partially exorcised with my post earlier this week, I can move on to discussing the rest of "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken".  That's still no easy task, however, partially because the final scene still casts a long, ugly shadow over the rest of the episode, but mainly because said instalment just wasn't really any good.

(TV spoilers follow)

This Title Contains Two Klues Xactly

This picture might have more to it than it seems.
Don't try her Sunday name.

Always better without ice, isn't it?

 Go green before you see red. Green can be a mixed up colour sometimes. Red is more orderly.

Fkgo wmmhmqa Jfvgg kqa V wmqo wvon geim jsvmqag oe Mgpkbm Qmwpkgofm, wnvpn oysqg eyo oe xm k bfkpm skonms onkq k gyuumgoveq.  Onvg vg eqm ej onegm bfkpmg wnmsm onmt feph tey vq k seei wvon geim byccfmg, kqa tey pkq’o mgpkbm yqovf mvonms tey wesh eyo wnmsm onm hmt vg, es k jyff neys mfkbgmg.

This show's so old I don't think the vehicles even matter any more

Kqa vo’g usmko. Onm byccfmg ksm jkvsft gvibfm, xyo onmsm’g k nksams seei krkvfkxfm kjoms tey’rm bserma teys imoofm vq wnko wm pkq jkvsft omsi “mkgt ieam”. Mrmq wvon onm avjjvpyfoft xks ge few, oneyun, jmw useybg (fmgg onkq 1%) ikqkum oe umo eyo wvoneyo kqt pfymg ko kff (onmsm’g k xvu OR gpsmmq vq onmsm wnmsm pfymg jfkgn yb vj tey’sm okhvqu oee fequ oe jvuysm geimonvqu eyo) ge onmsm’g onko oe kvi jes.

The pun made Bipolar Bear my favourite Tick character,
 but the condition itself, in brief, is awful.

Ava wm ikqkum oe umo eyo wvoneyo pfymg? Wmff, geso ej.  Apoykfft wm qmmama onsmm, xyo mrmst gvqufm eqm ej onmi wkg kxeyo new oe ebmq onm rksveyg jesig ej feph wm pkim kpsegg, kjoms wm’a kfsmkat jeyqa onm kpoykf peixvqkoveqg xyo peyfaq’o gmmi oe umo onmi oe wesh.  Ko k xksm ivqviyi V’a gkt k jvjon ej eys ovim (kxeyo jesot jvrm ivqyomg) vq onm seei vqrefrma ostvqu oe umo wmvsa otbmg ej bkafeph oe kpoykfft gbsvqu. Qmlo ovim wm’ff xm xsvquvqu geimeqm wnegm jvqumsg kpoykfft wesh.

I'll be brief again. I'm not saying Crashdown didn't deserve the rank,
 I'm just saying there seemed to be nothing going on inside.

Govff, rmst iypn smpeiimqama. Ko kseyqa £17 k bmsgeq, vo’g dyvom bsvpmt jes wnko vg ko iego kq neys’g mqomsokvqimqo, xyo vo’g onm geso ej onvqu onko bsmoot iypn uykskqommg tey’ff wkqo oe smfvrm vo ko fmquon, ge vq onko gmqgm onm bsvpm aemgq’o jmmf mqovsmft mloesoveqkom.

Benioff And Weiss Are All That Is Wrong With This World

There is simply no point trying to put together a post on this week's Game of Thrones without dealing first with that scene. It would be nice to think that doing so would allow me to excise it from the text, like a tumour from an otherwise healthy body. I know that's not going to work, of course. If it is a tumour, it's a malignant one, one that will grow back, shooting out tendrils of corruption that ultimately will forever suffuse this episode, and this season, and this show. Treatment is now impossible; the show has an irreversible chronic condition and the best we can say is that it might not kill it. If, indeed, it's still reasonable to hope the show survives at all.

So this post isn't intended to draw a line under what just happened. It's simply necessary for me to write it so my thoughts on any other aspect of "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken" can feel like there is any need for them to exist.

Huge TV spoilers below, obviously. And a trigger warning for sexual assault and sexual violence. Much of what follows has been influenced by my conversation with @la_jellybean and @GeekPlanetDave, though if any of what's written here bothers you, I am entirely to blame.

Left/Right Consent Chart

A brief explanation as to the difficulty of arguing with those on the other side of the aisle about what it means for one person to consent to another person's request.

"We Had An Enormous Feast, And Then I Killed Them And Took Their Land."

Well, that was an oddly paced episode, and not in a good way.  We're halfway through the season, and yet in almost every respect this felt like a season opener concerned with pointing out how things were going to develop.   Which isn't necessarily a bad thing when you're setting up the back half of a year, but when your first half still hasn't blossomed, the end result is rather frustrating.

(TV spoilers follow)