Monday, 31 October 2011

Five Things I Learned On Arran

1.  Weather reports for the Firth of Clyde are dangerously skewed by local experience.  On Arran "good weather" means that though rainstorms are inevitable, you might get to see a rainbow when it stops for a bit.

2.  During the sky's brief pauses for breath/reloading (depending on your choice of metaphor), the best way to see red squirrels is not, as is suggested, to walk through the woods in total silence.  Instead, creep up to a random hedgerow and begin ranting at the top of your voice.  You're bound to flush something out, and it might even be a squirrel.  My rant was on the difficulty in understanding my girlfriend when she refuses to include nouns in her sentences, but that's probably not a necessary condition.

3.  Further, wildlife observing on the whole island is harder than you might believe.  I saw more species from my bedroom window (swans, white-fronted geese, curlews, oystercatchers, kittiwakes, ducks, crows both common and hooded) than the rest of the island combined (admittedly, there wasn't too much time spent more than twenty feet from the booze supply).  Hell, I saw more naval vessels from my bedroom window than I did species anywhere else.  We spotted at least one Daring class destroyer (presumably the HMS Defender), two more similar ships of unknown class, and what looked like a Vanguard class submarine (though it might have been the Astute, which presumably thought it was somewhere east of Madagascar).

4.  Attack the Block is immensely silly, throwaway fun; Downton Abbey is entirely absurd period melodrama that at least looks gorgeous, and High School 3 Senior Year DANCE! for the Wii is so miserably terrible that I resent the amount of time it took to type the name in order for me to diss it (sorry, Chemie!).

5.  It is not possible to adequately play Mario Kart with one's feet, even if someone is willing to operate as gunner.


Dan Edmunds said...

I'm not convinced point 5 is sufficiently disproven - It was my first go - You wouldn't expect someone who had never used any form of joypad to do any better than I did, I suspect it is just a matter of training,

Also - I am guessing my copy of Mario Kart ended up in your bag?

SpaceSquid said...

That's a fair point, though I suggest that future trials use someone else's controller.

I've just checked and yes, I'm afraid your game has come back with me to Kenilworth. If you email me with your address I shall post it to your island stronghold.

Chemie said...

Pah, I shall ignore your HSM diss. Mostly because it has forced you to admit you took some pleasure from Downton Abbey. How the mighty tentacled one has fallen! Downton Xmas special and weekly Garrow's Law here you come!