"Realistically, I'm already halfway gone."
Putting eight players in goal is a flagrant breach of the laws of the game! The octopus is therefore self-evidently the better choice.
Fair enough. How about one snake in goal, seven in defence, and three enraged mammoth strikers?Or perhaps we could tie the snakes' tails to a beach ball, to make them more like an octopus. Might lose some of their co-ordination, though.
Eight snakes in goal would make it hard to play the off-side trap...
We should compromise between the eight snakes and an octopus and have a hydra in goal. That way you get multiple serpents but still only one player, thereby keeping to the rules, but hopefully with something approaching the added co-ordination of the octopus. And one extra limb.Plus the opposition couldn't get near it for fear of being fatally poisoned, meaning they'd be reduced to long distance pot-shots. It's a win-win-win situation.
How about a basilisk?
Man, nuts to the original question. Let's just get together two teams of eleven fantastical creatures, and watch them fuck each other up.
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