Still here, folks. In fact, I have loads of awesome things I want to put up. Tragically, though, the free trial version of Photoshop I downloaded in order to make me King of the Intertubes (I shall be a benevolent and loving dictator, I promise. Also: send me all your sexiest virgins) is entirely broken. This has delayed me for a while. Plus, there's still the house-moving fiasco going on. Currently, this process can be summed up as follows:
Nice House Lady: Give me all the money in the world, please.
SpaceSquid: Here is all the money in the world. Do I have a flat now?
Nice House Lady: No. I also need my fee.
SpaceSquid: Then here is all the money in the world, plus some shiny rocks from the Krupier belt.
Nice House Lady: You can have a house in three days, if you're good.
Nice House Lady: Now that I have removed all the money in the world and placed it in an invisible safe guarded by a robotic laser-crab, I can tell you that your bathroom has sprung a leak, so you can't move in.
SpaceSquid: Damn you, fickle fate!
Nice House Lady: Don't worry, it will be fixed by Monday.
SpaceSquid: Yay! Thank you, Nice House Lady.
Nice House Lady: Hi. So, guess what isn't fixed yet?
(This, by the way, was a story I was totally going to tell using Photoshop, but this is obviously goddamn fucking impossible).
So, yeah. Big plans for the blog, but they're going to have to wait at least a little while longer, whilst I continue to search for anyone in the world with the slightest scrap of competence.