Monday, 12 July 2010

Grumble Grumble Universe Can Go Fuck Itself Grumble

Still here, folks. In fact, I have loads of awesome things I want to put up. Tragically, though, the free trial version of Photoshop I downloaded in order to make me King of the Intertubes (I shall be a benevolent and loving dictator, I promise. Also: send me all your sexiest virgins) is entirely broken. This has delayed me for a while. Plus, there's still the house-moving fiasco going on. Currently, this process can be summed up as follows:

Friday lunch-time

Nice House Lady: Give me all the money in the world, please.
SpaceSquid: Here is all the money in the world. Do I have a flat now?
Nice House Lady: No. I also need my fee.
SpaceSquid: Then here is all the money in the world, plus some shiny rocks from the Krupier belt.
Nice House Lady: You can have a house in three days, if you're good.
SpaceSquid: YAY!
Nice House Lady: Now that I have removed all the money in the world and placed it in an invisible safe guarded by a robotic laser-crab, I can tell you that your bathroom has sprung a leak, so you can't move in.
SpaceSquid: Damn you, fickle fate!
Nice House Lady: Don't worry, it will be fixed by Monday.
SpaceSquid: Yay! Thank you, Nice House Lady.

Monday morning

Nice House Lady: Hi. So, guess what isn't fixed yet?

(This, by the way, was a story I was totally going to tell using Photoshop, but this is obviously goddamn fucking impossible).

So, yeah. Big plans for the blog, but they're going to have to wait at least a little while longer, whilst I continue to search for anyone in the world with the slightest scrap of competence.

7 comments:

Tomsk said...

May I suggest the GIMP (www.gimp.org) for your illustrative needs. Notwithstanding the ludicrous name it's a very good free alternative to Photoshop.

SpaceSquid said...

Yeah, I've had it recommended by a few other people too. I will have a look at it tomorrow, I think. Or tonight, if I what I suspect is going to happen happens and Nice House Lady tells me I can't get into the flat at all today.

Senior Spielbergo said...

I second that recommendation - very good bit of software is GIMP.

SolarSpyder said...

I third that recommendation. Bring out the GIMP.

Jamie said...

The GIMP's sleeping.

...I know, I know, but somebody had to bite...

lyndagb said...

can anyone tell me if GIMP will do 'batch processing'? I want to create a wee macro to change a whole bunch of images in the same way. Igrafx was very easy for that but other packages I've looked at don't seem to say anything about it.

Senior Spielbergo said...

It certainly has a batch processing mode although the one time I used it it was a bit clunky (command line based) - but this may have improved by now.