Tuesday 6 November 2012

What Was Wrong With Paraguay?

This is really interesting, if somewhat guilt-inducing: a list of every modern country with territory at one point invaded or attacked by England/Britain.


Apparently, no-one's done this before.  Actually, no-one's done this yet, since when you read the small print it transpires it also includes countries where we paid the government to let us keep troops there, which basically makes it a map of places we invaded, attacked, or just bought tickets to go on holiday there and brought a gun.

Even so, 90% of the world is a remarkable number (it's not remotely a surprise was that our first effort was against the French, and that we lost), and that's before we factor in Mordor, Narnia, or the Lost World.

So, yeah.  Sorry about that, all of the world.  We feel terrible about it.

(For the record, the US has had armed troops in at least 5 of the 22 countries not on the list.  Plus, you know, they've got the moon and Klendathu.)

7 comments:

Chris said...

Why are you guilty? Surely if you'd been doing the invading you wouldn't need a list to tell you which countries you've marched over.
Maybe time to dial down the drinking?

SpaceSquid said...

Shut up! Don't make me invade you!

Chris said...

Its the same old story, you get a bit boozed up, invade me and then you're feeling guilty in the the morning.
Lose the anger - its time to break the cycle.

darkman said...

If it makes you feel better we invaded you a bunch of times too.

SpaceSquid said...

You don't have to tell me, darkman; I'm half Yorkshire. Chances are we're distant cousins.

Really distant, obviously.

darkman said...

Oh, the shame of being possibly related to a conservative.

SpaceSquid said...

Aw, that's kind of sweet, given I'm liable to spend so much of tonight hearing about how I'm a lunatic hippy intent on spending my days smoking either ganja or cock, depending on the situation.