Tuesday, 15 July 2008

It Had To Happen

Since I'm currently sans computer back at the flat (the damn thing stopped working again on Thursday, and stopped working to such an alarming new degree on Sunday night that the mecha-vets seemed the only option), there hasn't really been much opportunity for blogging (this state of affairs being accentuated by hanging out with Senor Spielbergo when I really should have been in the office).

Needless to say, this recent loss of my internet privileges has left me bitter and angry. This was further accentuated yesterday morning when I discovered that the National Academy for Gifted and Talented Youth has been canceled this year, at least for maths, which means I don't get the £300 I was promised for teaching it. Since each year the money I make from that (which used to be £600, back before someone decided that maths isn't really something we want to encourage children to do) to subsidise my Summer holiday, it appears I am going to have to swim to Jersey and/or resort to cannibalism once I get to the Isles of Scilly (final decision to be made once I work out how far offshore Jersey is and whether Scillonians are well-known for tasting of smoky bacon).

I thus unveil a new label for this august blog: one dedicated entirely to the burning hate that tears around my blackened heart like a hurricane of bile. Specifically, we give props to the pro-wrestler Vin Gerard, who will (as I learned today from 4th Letter), for the bargain price of two dollars, sign a 8 by 10 (or h8 by 10, as he calls them) photograph of himself, addressed to you, with the exact reason he loathes you.

Society could learn a great deal from this noble man. It is my dream that one day everyone will carry cards that, rather than holding information on your business, will simply display a stream of invective against whomever they are supplied to.

In fact, I think I might make some up myself. Let SpaceSquid point the way toward a better tomorrow.

Update: Apologies to Kim for not putting a video up in honour of her birthday. I shall rectify this appalling state of affairs the instant my computer is fixed and I can access youtube once more.

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