Putting aside jokes about the submarine running aground in the Inner Hebrides being called HMS Astute, is it not clear to anyone else what's going on? This is clearly a Tory plot to keep ahold of Trident! For years we lefties have been saying we don't strictly need four nuclear submarines to maintain an adequate nuclear deterrent. But how can we maintain that position when we realise that one of our precious nuke-carrying submarines might end up smashing into an island entirely at random?
Ah, how I've missed the Tories. "Keep giving us more money, people; there's no telling how badly we'll piss away what we've already got!".