Monday, 18 October 2010

They Could Type Faster, Too

Today, the staff coffee room became that bit more exciting when plates of an unknown but possible dairy-based substance are discovered.

SpaceSquid: Is this free cheese?
BigHead: I believe it's free cheese.
SS: Because it looks like free, y'know, orange rock.
Anonymous McNoname: I thought you loved all forms of cheese.
SS: Even I have limits.
Edenspresence: Yeah, it's not like you can't create really, really bad cheese.  If you cut costs.  You probably can't with honey, though.
SS: Yeah.  Wait, what?
E: You can't make honey any more cheaply.  I mean, you could make it more expensive-
Brutal Snake: I'd imagine you could do that pretty easily, actually.
SS: Make the honey pots out of diamond.
AMcN: Put your apiaries on Mars.
E: I'm just saying there's a baseline to-
SS: Hire the queen to tend the hives.  She's probably pretty pricey.
E: She'd need her crown modified as well, to fit over the hat.
AMcN: Plus I don't think she'd be able to maintain much of a pace.
BS: And you'd have the Duke of Edinburgh hanging about, as well.  Insulting the bees.
SS: "Why don't you all just piss off back to Beeland?"
AMcN: Surely the bees are indigenous to Britain, though?
SS: He won't care.  They're black!  And yellow! Two of his least favourite colours!
AMcN: This doesn't sound like it's good for the bees.  If we're spending all this money, why don't we buy the hives plasma TVs instead?
BS: Or give every bee a computer.  They could sign up to Facebook.
SS: "You have a friendship request from Bee #14838."
E: I'm not sure their updates would be worth reading, really.
SS: "The queen bee has laid an egg.  The queen bee has laid an egg.  The queen bee has laid an egg."  "Bee #58796 likes this."
AMcN: That's actually oddly cute.
BH: It's almost a shame they'll all be dead soon.
SS: "The queen has updated her relationship status to 'Functionally Extinct.'"
AMcN: Aw.  I'm sad now.
SS: Here.  Have some free cheese.

1 comment:

Senior Spielbergo said...

I'm currently out of cheese... This make me want more, but it won't be as good as I'm pretty sure I'll have to pay for it...