"Realistically, I'm already halfway gone."
Not to worry, this was apparently debunked some time ago:http://opensource.com/life/10/7/oil-spill-doomsday-debunked-did-peer-review-journalism-fail-or-succeed
Pssht. That's what the balrogs want you to think...
Why is it always the balrogs who gets blamed when something bad happens? Racist!
I blame their publicists.
I'm intrigued as to how exactly a balrog could trigger this disaster. That would be a hell of a fart.
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