1. Ryan Adams is 35 and American. Bryan Adams is 50 and a talentless hack.
2. Ryan Adam's best songs are emotionally charged, lyrically inventive, and cover a bewildering array of styles. Bryan Adams best songs are "Summer of 69".
3. Even that one is a song about the fact that when he was young he might still have been talentless, but at least he could get some touch.
4. Ryan Adam's greatest hit united and revitalised the devastated inhabitants of a violated city. Bryan Adam's greatest hit forced the British public to spend three months watching Kevin Costner look greasy in a forest.
5. Ryan Adams is funny. Bryan Adams is so unfunny he singlehandedly prevents Canada from being the world's most humorous nation. The Kids In The Hall formed exclusively to combat the affect of Adams on Canadian unfunny emissions. If not for their tireless work ethic, Canada would even today be tied for funniness with Guam.
6. Ryan Adams is capable of putting himself into the mindset of a Depression-era farmer, a New York waitress, or a cancer-ridden suicide jumper, meaning he is not just a singer, but a storyteller. Bryan Adams is capable of putting himself into the mindset of a pair of knickers, meaning he is not just a tepid buffoon, but also a sex pest requiring electronic tagging.
7. Ryan Adams once named an album "29" to reference the songs' connections to his twenties and his fear of growing old. Bryan Adams once named an album "11", because he'd done 10 albums already.
8. Then he put 11 songs on it.
9. All of which were shit.
10. Well, probably. i-Tunes won't even sell it, and they sell Milli Vanilli.
11. Ryan Adams agreed to produce and co-write a Willie Nelson album to help a living legend regain his former mojo. Bryan Adams sang a duet with a Spice Girl to remind us that in the grand scheme of things, there are far worse musical crimes than "Wannabe".
12. Inevitably, the duet was shit.
Hopefully that should sort everything out for you.(Hideously embarrassing counting error fixed.)