Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Shake #26

Today's shake: Iced Gems

Taste: 2
Texture: 5
Synergy: 4
Scorn: 4
Total Score: 3.75

General Comments: What is there to say about the iced gems shake? It was there. It existed as a collection of molecules, contained within a cardboard cup. Its physical presence was undeniable. One could lift the shake, or drop it. The shake could be turned, or pushed, or prodded and poked, even shaken still further if such was your desire. One could even drink it, though there is little gain in doing so. The collection of elements and compounds that until recently existed as separate pieces of consumable and were ultimately mixed have now been transferred from their receptacle to my stomach. I know that this has happened. I remember the process taking place, and there are witnesses also.

And yet I felt nothing. This is the ghost shake, the shadowdrink, the beverage that leaves no footprint. Light without heat, music without melody. One can know one has drank from it, but one cannot experience the drinking. This drink is the Purgatory of the realms of milkshake, the waiting room where one resides hoping to be offered After Eight or cherry bakewell, and trying to ignore the stories your mother told to frighten you as a child, that the iced gems shake was simply the harbinger of the noisome Satanic majesty of the marmite shake itself.

I have supped from the chalice of the iced gems, and I fear what awaits me. What has been tasted cannot be untasted. Soon, it will be my turn to be judged.

Marmite is watching us all.

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