Tuesday 21 July 2009

Good Fucking News

Yay! Science has at last proven that swearing is good for you!

This is great news for mankind, and the dawning of a New Age.

We must not rest on our laurels, however. So many more questions need answering. Does psychological pain count? The next time my boss stuffs up, will it genuinely help my well-being to call him a cockhead? Can this be statistically proven?

Also, does some danger exist of building up a resistance to certain swear words (analogous to developing an addiction to morphine, as J-Dawg puts it)? How many times can I utter the word "fuck" before it will no longer help me when my testicles are crushed by carelessly placed furniture or the angry fists of my enemies? Must I resort to more esoteric words in order to salve my pain? And given my prodigous rate of cursing, how long can it possibly be until the day arrives that not even describing my assailant as a "turdwelding cunt-trumpet" will ease the burning fire of my agony?

We need answers, science. ANSWER US NOW!

Preferably without me as a test subject, though.

3 comments:

Chemie said...

'how long can it possibly be until the day arrives that not even describing my assailant as a "turdwelding cunt-trumpet" will ease the burning fire of my agony?'

Good point. Best save it all up for childbirth. Hmmm, not such an issue for you. Maybe you could try easing the fire of your agony by scalpel sharp character assassination?

Gooder said...

I'm sure I've seen a study like this before a few years ago

SpaceSquid said...

All the more proof that turning the air blue is a grand old idea!