Thursday, 28 May 2009

Wherein The Rocking Is Epic

I went to see Counting Crows last night, an experience which I would describe as roughly 90% awesome. The remaining 10% is brewing in my brain, waiting for a post to be composed on the subject. The full thing will have to come later, since I'm swamped with maths today, but the general drift of the argument is that bands should by and large remember that people go to gigs because they like the songs, not because they want to see those particular people doing whatever the fuck they please on any given night.

For now though, and on a similar note (no pun intended), I offer 101 rules for power metal bands, in the hopes that one day all music across the world will be forced into obeying strict laws, divided by genre.

h/t to BigHead.

11 comments:

Senior Spielbergo said...

We should form a band. It would be a pretty long distance band, but a band none the less…

BigHead said...

I can provide keyboards and Ibb the recorder... I have a friend who owns a sword... find us a guitarist, drummer, and some chainmail, and we are well on the way to mighty power metal glory!

Gooder said...

I call the Bez role

Senior Spielbergo said...

WEll Squid plays guitar, I play guitar. So we just need some chainmail and a drummer...

SpaceSquid said...

I play the guitar in roughly the same way Meg White plays the drums. It's an accurate description, but purposely leaves out the fact my skills are rudimentary at best.

I can sing though, given sufficient warm up time, and sufficient familiarity with a song. Mainly, though, my main skill is writing whiney white boy lyrics.

Senior Spielbergo said...

Ah but by having two guitarists our combined ability will be perceived as more EPIC.

So the big question, can you both sing and play guitar at the same time? Or failing that sing while strutting around holding a cricket bat modified to look like a guitar?

If so, supply us all with the music, we can go off and learn our parts and should we ever be in the same location with a big pile of instruments, we can make EPIC ROCK!

SpaceSquid said...

I most certainly cannot sing and play simultaneously, but I can certainly strut.

I'm liking this band idea a great deal. Long distance is MORE EPIC, as I'm sure Tolkein would tell you, and it also means we can do all the fun stuff (band names, logos, pretentious album concepts) without all the crap bits, like practising or being bottled off-stage.

Senior Spielbergo said...

Space Squid – Lead Struter and Vocals – Sounds good.

So agreed. Here’s the plan – You determine our set list – I’m going to go shopping for tight pants…

BigHead said...

Can you work dragons and/or gothic princesses into your whiny ballads?

We also need a name, that sounds both mystical and filled with fury, preferably in Latin, and if ripped off another band's song/album title so much the better.

SpaceSquid said...

I'm sure it can be arranged. Dude fights dragon, dude kills dragon, dude rescues princess, princess breaks his heart and runs off with his best mate. Dude forsakes dragon-slaying for meaningless self-indulgent poetry.

This shit writes itself.

Senior Spielbergo said...

Sounds like you have the making of our first*hit*. Get those lyrics nailed down, I shall get to work with Garage Band and rehash the great metal clich├ęs.