Sunday, 19 December 2010

Safe Bets

Following my earlier comments on DADT repeal, I thought I'd make a few predictions about the future.

2011: Every "serious" political commentator suddenly comes out in favour of the repeal, but also wonders aloud whether every single set-back in Afghanistan might have something to do with the new status quo.

2012: Multiple GOP Presidential candidates make reference to the DADT repeal in their stump speech as a classic example of federal overreach. Depending on the audience, they either decry the idea entirely, or argue it was a good idea done in the worst possible way.  No-one in the MSM highlights the contradiction.

2013-2016: The GOP quietly drop DADT as a talking point and double down on blocking gay marriage and gay adoption. A Republican takes the White House and immediately claims this gives them a mandate for blocking both ideas, despite an overwhelming majority in favour of gay marriage.

2030: The emaciated near-corpse of Glenn Beck claims the Republicans were in favour of repeal, and only voted against the measure as an objection to villainous Democrat chicanery. The Washington Post runs three dozen op-eds agreeing with him. FOX News runs a special report on how neither Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid were both suspected homophobes.

2050: The cybernetic tricycle into which Beck's brain has been implanted hosts a rally in which he states the Republicans were the ones who passed DADT repeal.  Ross Douthat writes a scholarly article claiming the BECKOTRON 6000 is sort of right.

2060: A Republic President invades France without provocation.  The White House insists this is not a sexuality issue both throughout the first phase, Operation: Pussy Is Great, and during the "liberation" of Paris, Operation: Versace Got What Was Coming To Him. The mechanised scorpion that now bears Charles Krauthammer's face explains that all of this is OK because Parisian homosexuals are fundamentally anti-Semitic.  No-one objects for fear of reprisals from Mecha-Mossad.

I'm telling you, it's all going to happen...

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