Monday, 1 June 2009

Important Annoucement

After deep discussion with our keyboard player/chief dreamweaver, I have concluded that our EPIC power-metal band will be named The Desolation of Smaug. Music journalists attempting to refer to us as merely "Desolation of Smaug" will not be acknowledged; the "The" is a vital part of our band identity. Definite articles are more EPIC.

The advantage of this name, beyond the fact it is unquestionably EPIC beyond measure, is that "desolation" is a word that brings to mind a great deal of whining and unhealthy introspection, which means my plan to form the world's first power-metal-emocore fusion unit can proceed apace.

If anyone has a problem with my unilateral naming strategy, they are free to quit the band at any time. Splitting over creative differences before the first album is recorded, or indeed the first rehearsal has occurred, or been arranged, or even contemplated, is highly EPIC.

9 comments:

Chemie said...

I assume fighting with the Tolkein estate over naming rights is also EPIC?

I am trying to keep schtum about power-metal bands on account of how I quite like Dragonforce and it's video game 'edge'. Are you sure emo is enough of an edge? I think you need a more tangible gimic than 'we're a bit stroppy'.

SpaceSquid said...

Only if you win.

I take your point over emo being insufficiently edgy. How about power-metal emo a capella gansta rap?

Tom said...

I like the name and wish to join the band. I can in theory play bass, although in practice I haven't tried for ~11 years (in fact, I'm not even sure where my guitar is). But since when has lack of practice stopped such epic pursuits?

Tom

Senior Spielbergo said...

"Desolation of Smaug" - I like it. However does that mean someone in the band has to be Smaug, or simply that our stage shall always be backed by a giant fire breathing lizard while we use gratuitous amounts of pyrotechnics throughout the act?

I of course play guitar (although out of practice), and can just about hold a beat on drums... Can't sing or dance.

BigHead said...

Tom: the rules for power metal bass is as follows: One note. Very fast. Evil goatee is optional, but recommended.

Garathon said...

I would caution against associating any musical endeavor with Smaug; remember what happened when he met (a) Bard? Now that was EPIC.

SpaceSquid said...

"The Battle of Lake Town" is to be the title of our final album in any case. Historical accuracy to ficticious events is EPIC.

BigHead said...

J-Dog and I think that we should try hiring BRIAN BLESSED to narrate our epic sagas.

SpaceSquid said...

Sold!